Dave Cook's the Turkey

"He got a ladle of the turkey gravy, and ran around the house smearing it on the light bulbs." Now why would someone do something as obscure as this you may ask, but the answer lies in with erratic behavior displayed by a male in distress. In the story Dave Cooks the Turkey by Stuart Mcneal, turns a tale of an everyday life of an everyday man named Dave into something resembling a puppy on ice. The humour displayed in this short story mostly fits under something that we can relate to as we all know what the Christmas rush feels like and Dave being an everyday man easily fits into comedy routine of a desperate male during late December. Dave is struck by the sudden realization that "[l]ooking after the turkey, something he had promised to do, meant buying it as well as putting it in the oven." As it also shows clear that lack of knowledge on the subject of poultry has consequences as well as "it became clear what grade B meant. Dave's turkey looked like it had made a break from the slaughter house and dragged itself a block or two before it was captured and beaten to death. [He] began to refer to his bird as Butch. Perhaps, he thought, Butch died in a knife fight." Dave becoming flustered by his meager burden had began to mix up loved ones with meat as he says his "[t]urkey and [his] kids are at the Food Bank. I brought Morley here so they could cook her for me." These common misconceptions generally don't stand very well in court when you cook your wife over an open flame instead a bird, Dave had become quite attached with a bird named Butch.

Certain events marks the beginning of maturity: Narrative Essay

I began to lose focus on what I once looked at as important or essential to my life, and change became evident. This is what I experienced mentally as I progressed through maturity, turning six years or so into several short sentences. Although the change was gradual the realization of the change only struck me periodically during specific events.


Thus far what has stricken me as the most obvious change in my personality is that I no longer feel the selfish greed that plagued me and many others in younger years. This year I have had what feels like an epiphany but I can't recall when it occurred. Up until now I have looked forward until Christmas, embracing the thought of being spoiled with gifts given selflessly from others; now the only thoughts that flood my mind are that of spoiling others with lavish gifts and not having a care in the world what I may receive in return... What had happened to me? I found myself feeling more fulfilled emotionally with this new presence in my mind, and took joy in the thought of making "someone else" happy. This change was universal and not only applicable to buying gifts for a different person but applicable for my entire life as I noticed similar changes as my wants and needs actually began to separate into two separate ideas.


The event that truly knocked me sideways was the first day alone at university. Though it was a familiar experience something was a foot, a new day, and a new school. This wasn't foreign to me as I have changed schools numerous times in my academic history, but something just seemed different, missing from this new environment. The day before I found myself with my parents moving my belongings into my dormitory, still filled with a sense of security that had since begun to fade. Getting settled took an unorthodox amount of tossing and turning on my bed with my laptop next to me, I was on Facebook trying to keep up with the global chatter that was were my past friends. Though it was only 10:00PM I figured it was time to turn in as it was a big day tomorrow, and right I was. I'm woken by the chime of the next apparently greatest artist from my alarm, and to my bodies great dismay I had to actually get out of bed and hit the annoyance across the room that decided to hide under the counter. Whoever designed the alarm clock that rolls away and hides should be shot.

Like any other day I wake up at 6:30 to meet the unpleasant disturbances that come with living beside one hundred other people who face the same fate that I do. Groaning and slamming of doors came apparent quickly as time progressed and I got ready to head out headfirst into my first day of university, which somehow had a familiar feeling, similar to the first day at kinder garden, all alone without your parent to aid you. Though of course there has been immense amount of chance and self reliance since then so you wouldn't think that the feeling would be as overwhelming as it was. After completely the necessary morning routine: brush teeth, shower, take medication. It was time for me to step out into a new world seeking new horizons. There wasn't any classes scheduled for today it was all just orientation, which went pretty much like clockwork. Went out with multiple strangers, engage in various small talk situations with the some strangers, familiarize self with strangers who's small talk was actually interesting, regroup with same strangers all heads accounted for, and made a couple friends in the process, clockwork.

The whole orientation process took the most of the day, finding myself finally being able to go back to my dormitory at around five. During bits of the past days things have begun to hit me, there was alot that I actually had to for myself, laundry, shopping for everyday items, budgeting, not to mention cooking with a under-budget hot plate. All of these things were essentials of life that I had become to accustom to getting treated to not having to deal with everyday, never being able to fully realize how hard it hits you when you get tossed out into the world and have to fend for yourself. No one is ever really trained for this rude awakening of life, but it is something all of us need to face at some point or another; 40 year old virgins that live in their parents basement may be exempt from that last line...

An increase in profanity (foul language) is indicative of a decline in society's morals.

Affirmative:

It is significantly visible of the increased use of profanity in today's culture in contrast to even twenty years ago when censorship was heavily enforced. All sides have been pushing the envelope trying to bring more profanity into the picture, and it has worked. The current generation embrace this, conforming to what media provide them and slowly exposing themselves more to increasingly greater offensive material as it becomes "ok to do so." As more is becoming uncensored today's culture is becoming negatively impacted by this decline in society's morals. It is clear that any increase in profane language or activities is not beneficial to society in anyway, and it should not be as exposed as much as it is to today's culture. Why in any case would we feel a need to: swear more, see more, etc. None of these are a logical reason to keep pushing forward and raising the bar at which we have drawn the line of what is acceptable and what is not. I don't feel that it is healthy that society feels a need to further expose themselves to more and more profane material. Why would there be a need as soon as society begins becomes more civilized, war begins to slow down, more peace is apparent, and then many choose to expose themselves to profane content for seemingly unknown reasons? There has been no proven explanation for this behavior but it isn't something everyone should tolerate as it is clearly not something that helps society in the slightest, and never will given any circumstance.

Negative:

There are plenty of reasons why society should allow it self to go more acquainted to this type of profane material. Since the early times all societies have loosened up old traditions and introduced new ones, it is we as a race grow and learn to accept one another instead of dwelling on rules made hundreds of years ago that don't have the same impact then as they do today. As more profane material becomes acceptable it will lessen the hate in society as ways to offend each other become less applicable. As a society we should be allowed to grow and cherish what we have and not hide and refute it; much of this growth regarding profane material and its natural link to change in society is that new generations (People born generally three to four years apart depending on the age of which you actually reflect when your generation is, as generations increase in age as people grow older.) are the ones that demand change, and are uncomfortable under the rule of a previous generation, this of course leaves older generations feeling uneasy with the change, and thus is why this sort of topic is raised. This is something that wasn't as apparent hundreds of years ago but was still existent, but now days this change is what is shaping society and it isn't something that should be feared but cherished. Today's culture demands change, and it will occur without select few if they choose to stay behind while others move forward.

Who I am?

I have no extracurricular activity, no involvement in: sports, clubs, volunteering. There is much else I can do below the surface and beyond pay less and unrewarding activities such as those. There are great deeds that can still be completed by me regardless of the desire for these needless activities. Many post-secondary institutions want undermine you and make you think you need these to achieve success but no more!

I have my fault, many of which involving my lack of these so called community activities; I don't have these under my belt but I do have many other positive points to look at. I can build a computer with my eyes closed, and out-script an apple programmer with my hands tied behind my back! How is this possible you might ask, well if you continue reading that may or may not be explained.

I can scale the empire state building with only my feet; I can jump off the golden gate bridge and talk about it! These are not feats any mere human could accomplish but feats a avid gamer such as my self can achieve. A gamer, one who sits upon there bottom all day trying to sythesize reality into: a screen, a mouse and a dream. The word gamer symbolizes my very soul, my meaning for existence and thus is why you want me at your post-secondary institution. There are endless possibilities when one of your students can anticipate the future because of gamers nature of having a sixth sense.

I know, I Dallas Rowe would want to have myself at your post-secondary institution and why wouldn't you?

Unacquainted

Vibrant and contrasting, a solitary red rose within a desolate plain of ash. This was a young man who found himself lost in a place he clearly did not belong, and the young man has confronted a older man who stood opposite him; who was in conferment with his surroundings. The young man beheld a look of consternation; the old man seemed in a serene state of calm, despite his bewildered gaze which seemed as if his face were made of stone. This face hung, frozen in time. Unable to rouse from its sinister state; the face gawked at you menacingly, inducing your very soul to quiver irrepressibly. The old man's eyes were cold and forbidding; the eyes seemed to smile as if they were able to see within the young man's body and watch his soul twitch and grimace. Though the old man did not show any sign of pleasure, it was evident that he was drawing satisfaction from this torment. His mouth didn't smile but instead remained perfectly still molded into a frown; the young man was entranced at the sight of this mouth, it was smiling yet remained unchanged, the old man was enjoying himself clearly. Several more moments passed between the two entities, the silence was broken as the old man said aloud, "Thank you," then swiftly turned on his heel and vacated; the young man was now in a state of perplexion, absolutely baffled by the scene that had just occurred in before him. The tension in the area dropped and the young man shook his stupification and cleared his mind then went to shuffle his feet and move in the direction of his original intention only to hear a loud noise. He had been shot. Everything faded, and ringing filled his ears, he slouched forward grasping everything withing reach as he left the world. He was dead.

Cold hands warm heart.

I was the flower child but also fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Today was no ordinary day though I was caught between a rock and a hard place, and my parents were questioning my absence of school that night, I attempted to explain to them but it was like I am talking to a brick wall. Truth was, I was just a chip off the old block and our entire family were as stubborn as a mules. That night I came home with a friend and my parents immediately replied my late coming with rude accusation of "look what the cat dragged in." This type of reaction wasn't new, my love toward them has long since been dropped like a hot potato. I was in my room around 8:00pm then my parents entered, which was new and I grew cold feet, my blood ran cold and my heart dropped to a bottomless pit. They wanted to have a talk about my misconduct, but I figured it was better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. As it turned out they truly had cold hands warm heart as they seemed much more fearful all but under the skin.

The Ultimate Power

Heavily debatable and controversial as it is, is if one would be to choose absolute immortality above all else. Many would believe this power to be overall undesirable as there would be a point in most's life where they would not wish to live further. Though this is different for me, I accept the fact that at a point in my life I would regret this curse but the desire to live and experience the technological growth of human kind and beyond is enticing to my very bones. Overall this would turn further into a curse then a beneficial power of sorts; this is an acceptable fate for me as the burning desire for knowledge is great. Though many other powers would allow the creation of ideas past human imagination and intelligence, even the ability to live in different times: past, future. Though none would allow for experience of all present and future; not only would this power allow for the advancement of human technology but possibly prevent further mistakes caused by ignorance of the past mistakes. The permanent existence of me would prove to be anything but disadvantageous to human kind. Though with that thought would I grow to regret it or would people grow jealous of the curse as it envelopes me further; overpowered by the desire to watch the human race advance into the space age and beyond. I wish to be part of the growth until the end and be witness to it.