Dave Cook's the Turkey

"He got a ladle of the turkey gravy, and ran around the house smearing it on the light bulbs." Now why would someone do something as obscure as this you may ask, but the answer lies in with erratic behavior displayed by a male in distress. In the story Dave Cooks the Turkey by Stuart Mcneal, turns a tale of an everyday life of an everyday man named Dave into something resembling a puppy on ice. The humour displayed in this short story mostly fits under something that we can relate to as we all know what the Christmas rush feels like and Dave being an everyday man easily fits into comedy routine of a desperate male during late December. Dave is struck by the sudden realization that "[l]ooking after the turkey, something he had promised to do, meant buying it as well as putting it in the oven." As it also shows clear that lack of knowledge on the subject of poultry has consequences as well as "it became clear what grade B meant. Dave's turkey looked like it had made a break from the slaughter house and dragged itself a block or two before it was captured and beaten to death. [He] began to refer to his bird as Butch. Perhaps, he thought, Butch died in a knife fight." Dave becoming flustered by his meager burden had began to mix up loved ones with meat as he says his "[t]urkey and [his] kids are at the Food Bank. I brought Morley here so they could cook her for me." These common misconceptions generally don't stand very well in court when you cook your wife over an open flame instead a bird, Dave had become quite attached with a bird named Butch.

Certain events marks the beginning of maturity: Narrative Essay

I began to lose focus on what I once looked at as important or essential to my life, and change became evident. This is what I experienced mentally as I progressed through maturity, turning six years or so into several short sentences. Although the change was gradual the realization of the change only struck me periodically during specific events.


Thus far what has stricken me as the most obvious change in my personality is that I no longer feel the selfish greed that plagued me and many others in younger years. This year I have had what feels like an epiphany but I can't recall when it occurred. Up until now I have looked forward until Christmas, embracing the thought of being spoiled with gifts given selflessly from others; now the only thoughts that flood my mind are that of spoiling others with lavish gifts and not having a care in the world what I may receive in return... What had happened to me? I found myself feeling more fulfilled emotionally with this new presence in my mind, and took joy in the thought of making "someone else" happy. This change was universal and not only applicable to buying gifts for a different person but applicable for my entire life as I noticed similar changes as my wants and needs actually began to separate into two separate ideas.


The event that truly knocked me sideways was the first day alone at university. Though it was a familiar experience something was a foot, a new day, and a new school. This wasn't foreign to me as I have changed schools numerous times in my academic history, but something just seemed different, missing from this new environment. The day before I found myself with my parents moving my belongings into my dormitory, still filled with a sense of security that had since begun to fade. Getting settled took an unorthodox amount of tossing and turning on my bed with my laptop next to me, I was on Facebook trying to keep up with the global chatter that was were my past friends. Though it was only 10:00PM I figured it was time to turn in as it was a big day tomorrow, and right I was. I'm woken by the chime of the next apparently greatest artist from my alarm, and to my bodies great dismay I had to actually get out of bed and hit the annoyance across the room that decided to hide under the counter. Whoever designed the alarm clock that rolls away and hides should be shot.

Like any other day I wake up at 6:30 to meet the unpleasant disturbances that come with living beside one hundred other people who face the same fate that I do. Groaning and slamming of doors came apparent quickly as time progressed and I got ready to head out headfirst into my first day of university, which somehow had a familiar feeling, similar to the first day at kinder garden, all alone without your parent to aid you. Though of course there has been immense amount of chance and self reliance since then so you wouldn't think that the feeling would be as overwhelming as it was. After completely the necessary morning routine: brush teeth, shower, take medication. It was time for me to step out into a new world seeking new horizons. There wasn't any classes scheduled for today it was all just orientation, which went pretty much like clockwork. Went out with multiple strangers, engage in various small talk situations with the some strangers, familiarize self with strangers who's small talk was actually interesting, regroup with same strangers all heads accounted for, and made a couple friends in the process, clockwork.

The whole orientation process took the most of the day, finding myself finally being able to go back to my dormitory at around five. During bits of the past days things have begun to hit me, there was alot that I actually had to for myself, laundry, shopping for everyday items, budgeting, not to mention cooking with a under-budget hot plate. All of these things were essentials of life that I had become to accustom to getting treated to not having to deal with everyday, never being able to fully realize how hard it hits you when you get tossed out into the world and have to fend for yourself. No one is ever really trained for this rude awakening of life, but it is something all of us need to face at some point or another; 40 year old virgins that live in their parents basement may be exempt from that last line...